Top o’ the morning to you, Jacob Trouba.
Don’t let the braying of the jackals bring you down. After all, you’re in good company. Dale Hawerchuk wanted out, too.
The difference, of course, is that Ducky hung in there for nine National Hockey League seasons of notable achievement that earned him permanent residency in the Hockey Hall of Fame. It was only once he’d had his fill of Mikhail Smith’s make-work-for-Russians program that he strode into the Winnipeg Jets general manager’s office and delivered a trade request. Oddly enough, Ducky did it in the not-so-merry month of May, same as you.
Fortunately for the Duckster, he had a GM who didn’t dally. A month after his fireside chat with comrade Mikhail, Ducky was shuffled off to Buffalo.
I doubt you’ll catch a similar break, Jacob. Chances are some rot will have set in by the time your bossman, Kevin Cheveldayoff, feels motivated to move you. Chevy has all the urgency of a Sunday afternoon on the front porch in Mayberry. It takes the earth 365 days to orbit the sun. It took Chevy 1,100 days, give or take a solar eclipse, to trade Evander Kane.
Your old pal Evander asked for his get-out-of-town pass after his first season in Jets livery. If you and the boys hadn’t hurled Kaner’s track suit into the ice tub three seasons later, Chevy likely still would be dithering.
Speaking of the boys, Jacob, they miss you. At least most of them do. Wheels, Buff, Scheif, Litts…they all send their best and want you to know they wish you were in River City to join them for their preseason frolicking. They also want you to know that they understand why you’re back at home. You’re looking out for No. 1.
“He’s got to look out for himself, that’s part of the business side of this thing that can be a bit ugly sometimes,” is how the captain, Blake Wheeler, put it. “We want him back.”
Your old partner in crime on the Jets blueline, Mark Stuart, has got your back, too, Jacob.
“I really hope to be on the same team as him this year,” he says.
A lot of the faithful in Jets Nation are hoping that can be arranged and Stu is part of a package deal with you on the next stagecoach out of Dodge.
To date, Mathieu Perreault is the lone wolf not crying out in concert with the rest of the pack. Matty, like much of the rabble on the streets, thinks you’re “selfish.” As if. What’s he going to tell us, that he wasn’t looking out for No. 1 when he accepted $9 million to come to River City in 2014, or when he agreed to a four-year, $16.5-million extension this past summer? Good luck with that. Perreault didn’t come to Winnipeg for the Sal’s cheese nips and Slurpees. He came for the money and increased ice time.
Some news scavengers haven’t been kind to you, either. Paul Wiecek of the Winnipeg Free Press, for example, has branded you “a malcontent” and “impetuous.” He also submits that your worth on the NHL trade market has plummeted like Perreault’s goal total last year. Well, don’t listen to Wiecek or any of them, Jacob. They said the same thing after you and the boys played dunkin’ donuts with Kaner’s track suit, and look at the ransom Chevy received in barter for that malcontent and impetuous young man.
Wiecek also counts himself among the many who believe you ought to ponder the ouster of your current mouthpiece, Kurt Overhardt. You know, trade him for an agent to be named later.
He could be on to something there, Jacob. You might want to give Pat Brisson a call. I mean, look at what he did for Perreault. The guy gets powerplay time, yet his production drops from 18 goals to nine—and he’s rewarded with security and a raise! For scoring three more goals than Chris Thorburn! Go figure. Apparently, Brisson has pictures of Chevy and team bankroll Mark Chipman together in their birthday suits and lamp shades.
If you don’t want to dump Overhardt, Jacob, at least tell him to get copies of those pics from Brisson.
I don’t know who’s prepared to make the next move, Jacob, but if it isn’t Chevy, I understand Europe and Russia are lovely at this time of the year. Enjoy. And we look forward to seeing you at this time next year.
Patti Dawn Swansson has been writing about Winnipeg sports for 46 years, longer than any living being. Do not, however, assume that to mean she harbors a wealth of sports knowledge or that she’s a jock journalist of award-winning loft. It simply means she is old and comfortable at a keyboard (although arthritic fingers sometimes make typing a bit of a chore) and she apparently doesn’t know when to quit. Or she can’t quit.
She is most proud of her Q Award, presented in 2012 for her scribblings about the LGBT community in Victoria, B.C., and her induction into the Manitoba Sportswriters & Sportscasters Association Media Roll of Honour in 2015.